Ultimate Decadence

I have a huge sweet tooth and after a meal (breakfast included), I loooove to have a serving or 3 of dessert.
I've been in Nigeria for exactly 119 days now and on the dessert front, I AM NOT LOVING IT!!!!
Here, I drool on my lappie as i reminisce my favourites in no particular order.

1. Bread and Butter Pudding (Best served at STRADA Restaurants, London)   

2. Chocolate Mousse with Whipped Cream

3. Ice Cream

4. Apple Pie / Crumble

5. Cheeeeeeeeeese Cake!

Distant Memories

Wrote this on the 4th of October 2008 and while I ease myself into blogging again, I'll share.

Distant memories..............
Young at heart
We walked hand in hand,
As you taught me of the hows', whys' and whens'.

I learnt about love from you............
Serene and pure
Sent from God above,
Unconditional.

From you, I learnt to have a softer side........
And to be headstrong when things get too tough
I loved spending time with you,
As it seemed the only thing you wanted to do.

Being around you was truly my heart's desire......
Wishing you were still here to hug me good night,
I'm still your little girl and I miss you, dad!

(Not quite sure how I feel about the last sentence at this point)

Back...

Forgive the hiatus....due to a number of reasons I wont bother going into. The past couple of months have been rather interesting to say the least.....lots to update you on.

Stay 'tuned'.x

Conflict....

Striving for greatness, but seems to fail.
Reaching for heaven, while living in hell.
Anxious to give, but reluctant to take.
Fearful of dying, and hasn't yet lived.

Wants to bask in the sun, but a creature of night.
A warm person at heart, but comes across cold.
Has it together, but falling apart.
Ready to finish, and has yet to start.

Keeping a smile, at the same time crying.
Wanting it all, but has just a bit.
Desperate to stop, but can't seem to quit.
Happy here, but wants to be there.

Running in place and getting nowhere.
Craving that poison, but trying to refrain.
Feeling just great, when really in pain.
Staring in awe, but trying to ignore.

Wanting just a little, but swearing, "NO MORE!"
Keeping a promise, but feeling so torn.
Proud of one's self, and too, feeling scorn.
Thinking no one cares, but sensing little concern.

Don't worry, it's cool, but the flames still burn.
Feeling so lonely, but afraid of devotion.
Wants to love openly, but can't show emotion.
Want's to take it easy, yet looks for storms to weather.
Not to worry, I will do it.

The Break-Up

Feeling a bit emotional right now after tonight's episode of  Eastenders. After finding out he defrauded their neighbours via Insurance policies and is now bankrupt, a distraught Tanya Branning decides to leave her husband Max and rushes her children into the car, all except young Abi who refuses and wants to stay with her dad despite her mothers' pleas. She insists, ''Dad needs us, me. We need to stick together''. Her mother drives off anyway with the other two children leaving Max running after the car in tears, begging. Trust me when i say parental breakup is never easy, i've been there!

What happened to us?
What happened to the happy days?
My broken family wear a mask and no one sees the pain beneath
I am left with nothing but memories of a once happy family.
They expect me to fix their problems with a blink of an eye,
Without much thought of how low and hurt i may be feeling.
I've failed and given up trying.
Sometimes, its too painful to bear.
Though, i keep the pain buried inside.
The worry cannot show through these eyes.
They ask me what's wrong. I'm fine, i say.
Striving to protect the feelings of my brother
I'm thankful to God for our time together as i'll cherish it forever.
I'm thankful to God for the memories, they will last with me for eternity
I'm thankful to God for the strength.
I only ask for continued courage to carry on...
G'nite.x

The Traditionalist In Me...

I have different beliefs to a lot of females i know in my generation and contrary to what the ''New Age'' would have you believe, my stand remains: MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT EQUAL.  Though they may have equal roles in today's world, this does not make them equal. This issue has somewhat become a taboo subject and before you women start hurling stones at me, hear me out.

As we all know by nature's default, there are so many characteristics that make the two sexes different so i won't turn this into a lecture by going into that. If we go back in history, we'll see that the woman was simply an object with no opinions and could be inherited. Now that is one extreme i completely disagree with and though woman was made for man as a helper and complementary being in my opinion, i am in no way implying women should be used as foot mats.

With that said, being a traditional woman is related more to my beliefs than lifestyle as i have a career and though i am independent, it does not distract me from believing that men and women though different should be complementary. I believe a mother's place is beside her children and that the family structure is extremely important for the children's wellbeing and for society. This does not mean a woman should automatically be a housewife who slaves all day but a certain balance should be struck that is if marital finances permit. Put simply, a traditional woman to me loves her children and family more than she loves her career and status, and is often gently nurturing and self-sacrificing but not always necessarily submissive. (I am submissive but not stupid).

I enjoy catering for my man. Note the word 'enjoy'. I enjoy cooking and though I'd rather the house help do the cleaning, i don't mind it at all (stems from my OCD habits), i am usually the nurse and tend to fuss over my man when he is indisposed . Lots of women would prefer a man who cooks and all that and yes, it's nice to have a man who can surprise me with a gourmet meal but I'd rather not, please. Surprise me with diamonds or a meal at a 7 star restaurant instead. My department, my control, my zone. *Ouch! Just felt some stones thrown at me.*

Think what you like and just so you know, my 'traditional beliefs' do not encompass my total being . I'm a fucking freak in the bedroom ;-)

I Love My Boobs!

Well, what's not to love? All 32HH of them! An ex once described me as his "Busty Black Bounty of Beguiling Breastacular Beauty." Mouthful huh?! I certainly gave him a mouthful whenever I could ;-)

French men describe a perfect lover's breast size as "enough to fill the hands of a honest man" Hmmmn....in my case, he must have freakishly huge hands!

To think i didn't always like my boobs. I hated them in secondary school! Whilst they were probably the main reasons i got picked for beauty contests, i definitely got teased a lot. I can never forget one instance where a classmate (still talk to her to date) blurted out my boobs were bigger than everyone else's because i let boys suck on them. Everyone laughed and i almost died! I was 13years old for Christ's sake! Admittedly, in this day and age, 13year olds do worse than i can possibly imagine but back then, i was innocent and the closest i got to that sort of sin was a chapter of whatever Mills & Boon book (wrapped in newspaper of course) was going round. How did i react? I tried to hide them by wearing baggy clothes and attempting to walk with a hunch back! Lol! My mother was petrified and couldn't understand why i was so ashamed of my 'gifts'. It wasn't till i was 15 that i thought Fuck all y'all and embraced my treasures!

For years i squeezed myself into a DD cup as i couldnt find Non-Grandma looking bras in my size and then i discovered Bravissimo and Bra Stop and voila! Fortunately, i don't have to deal with back pain as many of my counterparts but one disadvantage is clothing restrictions. That lovely top that makes my friend look sophisticated and formal will scream sex! sex! sex on me so i try to be careful. Loose clothes make me look huge (not implying i'm little) so i won't be caught without a belt or waist cincher for emphasis. I dont need to wear super low cut shirts to get attention and you should see me in a corset, it's hard to describe! ;-)

I often get asked if they are real and play on that by asking people not to hug me too tightly or my implants burst! You should see their faces! I also get asked rather frequently if i would ever consider a breast reduction and my answer is always: Never have and never will. I will consider a breast lift after I've popped out the babies but a reduction? No thanks, I love being a Magnificent Mistress of Massive Mammaries. (I'm on an alliterative tip today lol). x