After much soliloquy, I decided to call Tee. Not to apologise, of course, but to see how he's doing (that's what I told myself). So, I dial, then cut it off immediately! What the fuckery is going on with me? Have I lost it? How could I possibly ring first? He will simply deduce I miss him or have been thinking about him. Pffffttt! We can't have that, can we? I'm Iron fucking lady!
There are things to be done, reports to be written et al...I begin to type away at my lappie and FLASH! those lips! FLASH! His voice softly whispering, "sssshhh, kiss me"! Oh fuck! Not now, I'm made of steel! Well, my kitten isn't though as I feel her throbbing lightly...I'm in a trance and before I know, I'm on the phone, Tee's number rings and after the first two rings, he cuts it off!!!! FUCK! FUCK! My eye don clear! WTF just happened? I rang and he cut it off? How dare him? Well, its ok...I meant to call someone else anyways, that was an error! Back to report typing. My phone rings....Tee! He had been playing with his phone when I rang and mistakenly cut it off! Phew! I knew that!
Looks like I will be sucking those lips afterall.
Tuesday 24 November 2009
Strength
Wrote this on 21/07/2009 and since my lazy self has started blogging again, i might as well share!
My strength today lies in resilience and intrepidity.
There was a time when pain was all I could remember: Constant trials and struggles, not enough laughs and too many tears.
There was a time when my heart was dusty, despondent and cold. I guarded my heart and head with grief and fear. Afraid to let anyone too close, I fought all battles on my own. I saw myself running from life, impossible to get away.
Some let me down when I needed them most while some attacked, when my defence was weak. So, out of desperation, I created a second world of serenity where I need no friends, partners or companions; where I face my reality alone and your offers of help are ignored. Nevertheless, what would life be without some of you? Especially those who understand my need to retreat, and wait patiently for my return.
I've learnt to count on nothing beyond today as there are no guarantees for tomorrow.
I've learnt to refrain from expectations from those around me. That way, no promises are broken.
I've learnt Life is simple and not that bad. It's what you make it out to be, and yours to do with as you please.
Now I strive forth happy and confident!! Living and laughing, loving it all!
Replacing darkness with light with hardly a fight. I am empowered by the support of meaningful experience and I transform with silent resilience, cherishing every moment of this new life
I read somewhere that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away...I WILL indulge in these moments and in people that take my breath away!
Judge, appreciate, condemn or applaud me...makes no difference, for I have become indestructible!
My strength today lies in resilience and intrepidity.
There was a time when pain was all I could remember: Constant trials and struggles, not enough laughs and too many tears.
There was a time when my heart was dusty, despondent and cold. I guarded my heart and head with grief and fear. Afraid to let anyone too close, I fought all battles on my own. I saw myself running from life, impossible to get away.
Some let me down when I needed them most while some attacked, when my defence was weak. So, out of desperation, I created a second world of serenity where I need no friends, partners or companions; where I face my reality alone and your offers of help are ignored. Nevertheless, what would life be without some of you? Especially those who understand my need to retreat, and wait patiently for my return.
I've learnt to count on nothing beyond today as there are no guarantees for tomorrow.
I've learnt to refrain from expectations from those around me. That way, no promises are broken.
I've learnt Life is simple and not that bad. It's what you make it out to be, and yours to do with as you please.
Now I strive forth happy and confident!! Living and laughing, loving it all!
Replacing darkness with light with hardly a fight. I am empowered by the support of meaningful experience and I transform with silent resilience, cherishing every moment of this new life
I read somewhere that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away...I WILL indulge in these moments and in people that take my breath away!
Judge, appreciate, condemn or applaud me...makes no difference, for I have become indestructible!
Pride
It's now past mid-day and no contact from 'Tee'. No 6am 'Morning Sweetness' and the likes... Now, I know I should make first contact and apologise but nah, i'll pass!
"Pride is a personal commitment. It is an attitude which separates excellence from mediocrity."
Pride to me is an essential quailty that has protected me in more ways than one. In past relationships, I let my pride slip twice and you really don't want to know where that got me. Akeem, the first and long term love had his field day with me. He pushed, prodded and poked however way he could and most times, I sat there like a 'dodoyo' taking it all. Afterall, he was 10years older than me so this must be how its done! Time out! I awoke from that slumber 5 and a half years later and I am who I am.
Fast forward: 2008. I let my guard down again for Benue boy and surprise, surprise...it didn't pay! So, i revert to me circa 2004 - 2008 and like Voltron, I vow to defend my universe, my being and my sanity!
I am aware that some people see my pride as an attractive quality while others unfailingly advise it makes me come across as arrogant hence I miss out on great opportunities to enjoy romance, passion and love. For what it's worth, I'm willing to take that chance. The difference is, I will not let my pride define my sense of self. This is simply because it doesn't stem from selfishness or greed, but from the desperate fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable.
Tee has become quite important to me over the last few weeks so I'll wait and see how this plays out...
"Pride is a personal commitment. It is an attitude which separates excellence from mediocrity."
Pride to me is an essential quailty that has protected me in more ways than one. In past relationships, I let my pride slip twice and you really don't want to know where that got me. Akeem, the first and long term love had his field day with me. He pushed, prodded and poked however way he could and most times, I sat there like a 'dodoyo' taking it all. Afterall, he was 10years older than me so this must be how its done! Time out! I awoke from that slumber 5 and a half years later and I am who I am.
Fast forward: 2008. I let my guard down again for Benue boy and surprise, surprise...it didn't pay! So, i revert to me circa 2004 - 2008 and like Voltron, I vow to defend my universe, my being and my sanity!
I am aware that some people see my pride as an attractive quality while others unfailingly advise it makes me come across as arrogant hence I miss out on great opportunities to enjoy romance, passion and love. For what it's worth, I'm willing to take that chance. The difference is, I will not let my pride define my sense of self. This is simply because it doesn't stem from selfishness or greed, but from the desperate fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable.
Tee has become quite important to me over the last few weeks so I'll wait and see how this plays out...
Monday 23 November 2009
Lightbulb moment
I've just been cut off from the highlight of my day - the phone call to 'Tee' (current source of my lust). My crime: Condescension. Truth is, he does have a point especially as he had warned me earlier on in the conversation. I know I feel the need to control my surroundings so I don't slip up or assume vulnerability but the abrupt end in conversation got me thinking: Might it be time to let go of control and let things flow? Now, the problem with that is Men realise this little slip up and take advantage. I am not to be messed with or so I hope but damn, dude really is getting to me. All I know is the audacity he displayed tonight has got me ticklish in certain places...Did I mention I absolutely adore a man who can stand his ground against me! So, 5 shots of Vodka and Cranberry juice later, I lay here typing and dreaming of his lips...wishing he would walk up to me and grab me, looking sternly into my eyes, he would suck on the left side of my neck whilst shoving his fingers down my bra, for I, have been naughty and need to be punished! *sigh* Distance sucks!
Ok, I should call back and apologise..HELL NO!!!
My 'letting things flow' policy will be in effect 24 hours from now..
Ciao.x
Ok, I should call back and apologise..HELL NO!!!
My 'letting things flow' policy will be in effect 24 hours from now..
Ciao.x
Confused.com
Lately I find I have numerous decisions to make. Some, petty and others quite somber. The annoying part is while I'm supposed to be concentrating, i keep having flashbacks of "that day." Now, these flashbacks have NOTHING to do with the person in question but more so, the experience. (You'll read more 'experiences' as time goes on). Good thing i penned the "experience" a few hours after the act....maybe i can get it out of my system for good.
His touch on her face...
As they lay on the living room floor.
They fought their resistance as the cool air flowed from the door beside them.
Eyes met briefly and begged for the chance to abandon their inhibitions.
Pulling her face towards him, he began his work on her lips
Probing and sucking gently, as if drawing from a deep wall of passion
Then, heated tongues met with hot and quickened breaths.
They made their way up to the stairs and he pinned her to the door...fueling her desire further.
Their clothes found resting place on the floor...Piece by piece
The moment revealed hunger as the bed became their stage
He moved on top of her easily, and lowered himself gently.
Pause...she thought....
She looked into his eyes as he ignored her....she suddenly felt it
Kissing her as she was filled with him.
As her gasp broke the kiss...his hands stroked the stray strands of hair away from her forehead.
Their slow rhythm gave way to urgent and demanding thrusts of passion
She arched her body for his comfort and he threw her into ecstasy.
With the strength of his thrusts, she took over!
Currents of passion filled her as she moved up and down on him
Pinning his hands down but her weak strength gave way to ripples of shivers!
He took over, leaving her screaming and soaked in oblivion again and again.
She wrapped her arms and legs around him, not wanting to let go.
As he growled her name from the back of his throat..
Their bodies both demanded more, each giving to the other.
She grasped then released him....grasped then released him.
The taste of his skin between her lips was like no other.
As he wrapped his hands around her head and held on tightly,
he moved with strong, breaking blows.
Forcing their way to the peaks of bliss....
Leaving their screams to echo on.
She welcomed the weight of him to crush her
As he collapsed on top of her, still hot and burning...
and she glowing with a smile as he kissed her continuously then finally let loose as she gasped with shaking legs.
Satisfied and looking on as their senses return!
PASSION.......
His touch on her face...
As they lay on the living room floor.
They fought their resistance as the cool air flowed from the door beside them.
Eyes met briefly and begged for the chance to abandon their inhibitions.
Pulling her face towards him, he began his work on her lips
Probing and sucking gently, as if drawing from a deep wall of passion
Then, heated tongues met with hot and quickened breaths.
They made their way up to the stairs and he pinned her to the door...fueling her desire further.
Their clothes found resting place on the floor...Piece by piece
The moment revealed hunger as the bed became their stage
He moved on top of her easily, and lowered himself gently.
Pause...she thought....
She looked into his eyes as he ignored her....she suddenly felt it
Kissing her as she was filled with him.
As her gasp broke the kiss...his hands stroked the stray strands of hair away from her forehead.
Their slow rhythm gave way to urgent and demanding thrusts of passion
She arched her body for his comfort and he threw her into ecstasy.
With the strength of his thrusts, she took over!
Currents of passion filled her as she moved up and down on him
Pinning his hands down but her weak strength gave way to ripples of shivers!
He took over, leaving her screaming and soaked in oblivion again and again.
She wrapped her arms and legs around him, not wanting to let go.
As he growled her name from the back of his throat..
Their bodies both demanded more, each giving to the other.
She grasped then released him....grasped then released him.
The taste of his skin between her lips was like no other.
As he wrapped his hands around her head and held on tightly,
he moved with strong, breaking blows.
Forcing their way to the peaks of bliss....
Leaving their screams to echo on.
She welcomed the weight of him to crush her
As he collapsed on top of her, still hot and burning...
and she glowing with a smile as he kissed her continuously then finally let loose as she gasped with shaking legs.
Satisfied and looking on as their senses return!
Resurrection...
Ok, got my lazy ass to start blogging in 2008 and managed to get a few words in and then gave up. In a bid to resurrect the blog, i realised i forgot my password so here goes a brand new blog....
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