Pride

It's now past mid-day and no contact from 'Tee'. No 6am 'Morning Sweetness' and the likes... Now, I know I should make first contact and apologise but nah, i'll pass!

"Pride is a personal commitment. It is an attitude which separates excellence from mediocrity."

Pride to me is an essential quailty that has protected me in more ways than one. In past relationships, I let my pride slip twice and you really don't want to know where that got me. Akeem, the first and long term love had his field day with me. He pushed, prodded and poked however way he could and most times, I sat there like a 'dodoyo' taking it all. Afterall, he was 10years older than me so this must be how its done! Time out! I awoke from that slumber 5 and a half years later and I am who I am.

Fast forward: 2008. I let my guard down again for Benue boy and surprise, surprise...it didn't pay! So, i revert to me circa 2004 - 2008 and like Voltron, I vow to defend my universe, my being and my sanity!

I am aware that some people see my pride as an attractive quality while others unfailingly advise it makes me come across as arrogant hence I miss out on great opportunities to enjoy romance, passion and love. For what it's worth, I'm willing to take that chance.  The difference is, I will not let my pride define my sense of self. This is simply because it doesn't stem from selfishness or greed, but from the desperate fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable.

Tee has become quite important to me over the last few weeks so I'll wait and see how this plays out...