Attachment Redefined

One of my closest male friends, 'LT' just had a baby with a woman he can't stand - The Ex! Everytime I see him looking physically sick, he's either on the phone to her or just off the phone to her. LT never hides his disgust, even from her, which makes me wonder why a woman would still strive to be with a man who finds you revolting, cheated on you countless times and only sleeps with you when you catch him drunk. This got me thinking, as situations like this are now frequent occurences. Case in point - My ex, AA.

I was unfortunate to fall in love with a guy who already had a son by the dreaded Ex and boy! those years were hell! You'd probably wonder why I stayed considering it was 'so-called' hell. It's simple! I loved him and I was young and naive.

They were together for a while until she cheated on him. He loved her and found he couldn't get over it especially as he walked in on them at it! He kicked her out and didn't see her for months though she kept begging to have him back. Fast forward, new year's eve - they met at a party and with everyone drinking past their liver's holding capacity, they ended up in bed. Let's call her Kemi. Well, the morning after the 'do do' AA abruptly apologised and informed the gleaming Kemi it was an error and he won't be seeing her again. Kemi, of course was devastated as you and I would be. Now, imagine how angry she was when she found out she was pregnant weeks later! No, that would have been my reaction but Kemi? Chick was ECSTATIC! OVERWHELMED! To Kemi, baby meant she got her man back and though she wasn't ready, she told her older sister she was willing to keep the baby just so AA remained part of her life till the day she died! I'm not judging but what a reason to bring a baby into this world. Fuck that! I'm judging! :)

Anyhoo, AA tried to make it work months after he found out and moved her in when she was 7months heavy. They had a boy, lovely! and when he was 6months old, she cheated on him yet again! Of course he chucked her out and as she wouldn't let him see his son, he thought screw em' both and life went on.

Enter, moi! I met the charming AA who was 10years older than me and seemed to be the best thing since cheesecake! I loved him more cos he understood I wasn't ready for sex and waited patiently. I was however appalled that he was paying rent, bills and giving Kemi £250 a week for a child he had no relationship with so like the good girl my mama raised, I pestered him to endure her crap just so he can have a bond with his son. Error on my part? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!

To Be Continued....x